Hating it.

I have really tried...the appointment was horrendous--as they always
are--and again, I was put in the position to deal with it. It was what
was expected, anyway. I have been avoiding it, really, but time wears on me, and I feel as if I am wandering. Cold, dark. Ilanen.

The doctor...he had an excellent bedside manner, however. He actually reviewed our chart, and I did as best as I was able to be truthful. We discussed the prior miscarriages, and abuse history. He was rather understanding of that and I must say, it was a better exam because of it.

He gave us a plethora of lab tests to see if there is a clotting problem, as apparently that can cause miscarriages. It seemed prudent to comply, as both the sister and mother have forms of von Willebrand's disease, which is a bleeding disorder.

And again, I am avoiding the real subject at hand. No matter. It is best left alone, for now.