Beast within.

I have finally taken notice. I realized it yesterday. There is a concentrated evil churning inside of me. A vicious Beast, baring its teeth and waiting to snatch up its next victim. I try to keep it in check, I try to restrain it, but at times it is to no avail. It secretly enjoys causing pain, and relishes in brutality.

Do not mistake what I say; I am not upset by this, really. It is merely something I have finally come to terms with. The blood, the rage, the hatred, the violence...I try to blame it on this Beast, but I wonder how transparent those lies are. Molly suggested once that perhaps I have others, a seperate system to my own. It has been suggested before: we all know Mjollnir is my dark-half. I even want to say that the Beast is really him. I am not certain if I want to say that because it holds some semblance of truth, or if it is because I do not have the courage to stare myself down.

If the Beast is, indeed, me, am I this way because that is how I was created? Or am I this way because I am a product of cetrain unsavory circumstances? And do I have the power to change?

How can I be Guardian Protector if I am a Beast at my very core? I am so at ease with the small ones; I feel it is what I was created to be. I am damn good at my job. A few fuck-ups, but I cannot say any of them were in my control. So why this game of Jekyll and Hyde?

Such confusion. I do not want to accept blame that is not mine, but I do not want to pass it on to any blameless, either. I suppose I should speak with Mjollnir; he has been in Stasis for quite some time. Perhaps he will shed some light on this subject.