Sliding deeper into this.

Admittedly, it has gotten much worse in the past few weeks. I can think of quite a few reasons, but none of them matter; the problem is that I do not, not why. "Why" never seems to matter.They tell me I am the logical one, the one born to this, and yet the only one capable of stopping one of us from cutting too deeply, or burning with such malice that it cannot heal. I despise such assumptions. I struggle, as anyone else. There are issues here, now, and of course I try to resolve them. Issues Inside, and a definite issue Outside, at the jobsite, and I must remain calm? How can that be? Why must I be the one, always, to maintain a sense of calm?
Wednesday was worse than I would have liked---I know, I always say that. But Wednesday, I cut far too deep, and had to remedy it. I only left it to that for a day, and when it reopened, I merely applied some PVC glue to it. It burned, my God, it felt as if acid were bubbling inside the wound. But now it is closed, and there is no infection. We will still have to wear something to cover it up; as of late, we ahve resorted to wristbands. Since Bruyere is female, we can get away with it, really: she delights in the "girly" ones, with animated characters featured on them. I would rather us wear more neutral colors and designs, but we must compromise. At any rate...I do worry, because this level of self-harm is reminiscent of years ago, when Sulekhi was in the forefront. I cannot allow that to happen.