Frustration.
I suppose this is less a vent and more a session in which to complain.
There have been issues Inside and the problems Outside have compounded everything into a veritable clusterfuck, if I may be so bold.
Firstly, I wrote some time ago in regards to the atrocious parking issues at Le Rêve. For my six o'clock shift, I must leave nearly two hours early. An hour to secure a good place in line to obtain a parking space on the property, and another hour in the line waiting to enter the premises. It is insane. Hundreds of workers are turned away daily as there is no longer any room for them to park. Mind you, hundreds of others park in an illegal manner: under equipment, blocking entrances, and double parking on ramps and on the rooftops.
Not only that, but the second tower of the Desert Inn is to be imploded this weekend. How that will affect parking, I have no clue. I can only imagine it to get worse. In fact, they are starting a swing shift, and all crews will soon work seven days weekly, twelve hours a day.
Additionally, the ground-breaking ceremony for Le Rêve's second tower (to be built on the ruins of the old Desert Inn) will be in August...more crews, more men. I doubt the parking will improve.
The need to cause harm to the body is now overwhelming. I see it becoming a distinct issue. I am dead without the release: dead to joy and yet alive to the sizzling negativity which always seems to convert itself into rage. I am doing better at speaking of the true evils that haunt me though I still am unable to speak of certain things. To complicate matters, I was accused recently of harming the small ones. Someone told me quite matter-of-factly that no protector would dare harm himself or the body, and in doing so, I willfully harm the small ones irreparably.
I have said time and time again that I was never meant to be the sole protector. I did not have the strength for that. It was Piirek's duty, and in his sudden absence I had no choice. One must do as one must, whether one likes to or not. Furthermore, such things have a way of working out...not always in an ideal sense, but in that the alternative would be less savory. The choice was given to me: I take Piers' duties, or I step away. I chose to accept them. Had I not, we may be in far better shape...or, far worse. I still believe I made the correct decision.
One who cares for small ones, or works with them, is not inherently evil if one also self-harms. I make certain that whenever an injury is willfully caused that it is cleaned and cared for, and that the small ones do not witness the act. They know of course, most of them. But it is not flaunted about or impressed into their minds that it is something desirable or "good". It angers me that someone could make snap-judgments about me, and be so incredibly inconsiderate about it, as well.
On a positive note, I have discovered the joys of peach-mango juice.
There have been issues Inside and the problems Outside have compounded everything into a veritable clusterfuck, if I may be so bold.
Firstly, I wrote some time ago in regards to the atrocious parking issues at Le Rêve. For my six o'clock shift, I must leave nearly two hours early. An hour to secure a good place in line to obtain a parking space on the property, and another hour in the line waiting to enter the premises. It is insane. Hundreds of workers are turned away daily as there is no longer any room for them to park. Mind you, hundreds of others park in an illegal manner: under equipment, blocking entrances, and double parking on ramps and on the rooftops.
Not only that, but the second tower of the Desert Inn is to be imploded this weekend. How that will affect parking, I have no clue. I can only imagine it to get worse. In fact, they are starting a swing shift, and all crews will soon work seven days weekly, twelve hours a day.
Additionally, the ground-breaking ceremony for Le Rêve's second tower (to be built on the ruins of the old Desert Inn) will be in August...more crews, more men. I doubt the parking will improve.
The need to cause harm to the body is now overwhelming. I see it becoming a distinct issue. I am dead without the release: dead to joy and yet alive to the sizzling negativity which always seems to convert itself into rage. I am doing better at speaking of the true evils that haunt me though I still am unable to speak of certain things. To complicate matters, I was accused recently of harming the small ones. Someone told me quite matter-of-factly that no protector would dare harm himself or the body, and in doing so, I willfully harm the small ones irreparably.
I have said time and time again that I was never meant to be the sole protector. I did not have the strength for that. It was Piirek's duty, and in his sudden absence I had no choice. One must do as one must, whether one likes to or not. Furthermore, such things have a way of working out...not always in an ideal sense, but in that the alternative would be less savory. The choice was given to me: I take Piers' duties, or I step away. I chose to accept them. Had I not, we may be in far better shape...or, far worse. I still believe I made the correct decision.
One who cares for small ones, or works with them, is not inherently evil if one also self-harms. I make certain that whenever an injury is willfully caused that it is cleaned and cared for, and that the small ones do not witness the act. They know of course, most of them. But it is not flaunted about or impressed into their minds that it is something desirable or "good". It angers me that someone could make snap-judgments about me, and be so incredibly inconsiderate about it, as well.
On a positive note, I have discovered the joys of peach-mango juice.
posted by Logan Nambiet at
11:39 PM
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