On Mjollnir.

And then this...I suppose it would seem obvious to some, but it only serves to make me more frustrated, more confused. For this, some background:

Siroun was our "afterwards girl": the presenter to make everyone think all was well, when it most certainly was not. She endured very little abuse...to my knowledge, anyway, I am the last to know these days so she very well may have. I digress, my apologies. Siroun would often see quite alot, as she was the one waiting at the Gate for our return. i will not go into details, as there is no point. It would be redundant.

Recently, many of the others were speaking about "when Logan broke". I dismissed it as passing conversation, and did not give it another thought.

However, apparently there as a time near the end of the summer, several years ago, when I stepped up to take too much. I kept taking and taking, as I did not want the others to be burdened with abuse. It was my job to protect, and therefore my job to take what was dealt to us. There was an incident...a particularly terrifying and painful incident. Too difficult to relate at the moment. This incident left an indelible mark on me, they say: according to the others there at the time, I stepped safely Inside, and began to scream until I collapsed. This is when I "broke": and thus Mjollnir was born. Not born, as in his beginning; rather, born, as in his arrival to the forefront.

I always knew he was my dark-half. That was never a secret, and it was not something that had to be researched. Mjollnir appeared, and I hated him, but he was, and is, a necessary evil.

I did not know that Insiders, such as myself, could in turn be fused with other Insiders, as Malcolm and I did for Mjollnir. This is a very odd and disconcerting piece of knowledge. Although the evidence is obvious, I cannot help but to doubt it. I want to ignore him, and force him to leave me be...and at the same time, is that not how our Host acted for years? Is that not the reason I so despised her?

What to do?