October.
The name of the month, or even the knowledge that it is upon us does not manifest dread. It is the temperature change, the slow turning of the leaves, the air as it becomes cooler and crisp. Even the smell of the air: somehow more fresh. The body senses that, though it feels sinister to us.
We have ben attempting to analyze our fear of this time of year. We know it stems from ritual abuse, that much is certain. Our dreams are filled with visions of chalices, athames and candles.
(On a side note: a friend of ours is Wiccan and says athames are never used to harm. However, we knew them for sacrificial use, to draw blood, and to evenly cut narcotics. Does anyone know if our perpetrators used the "harmless" athame to inflict pain just to pervert the idea of it? Or do some Pagans use an athame for harmful reasons, as well? [I suspect not, as the Witches' Rede forbids that type of thing, though I do not know if all Pagans subscribe to a similar rule.] Any light shed on this subject would be appreciated.)
Back to my original ideas:
Certain times of the year, such as the Lunar New Year, Christmas, Easter and the Solstices are very troubling for us. There is fear, dread, a general uneasiness. However, I also find that during these times, there is a desire we do not speak of. Somehow, the rituals, the functionality is comforting. Or so it would seem.
Although we are likely to tremble at the sight of a fully-stocked alter, or become afraid at the sound of monotonous chanting, some Inside cannot help the pull we feel. Why is it that this, which has caused us such harm, can still seem somewhat inviting? Were the mindgames that elaborate? A pastor suggested that the "brainwashing" (I despise that term) may have included a subliminal message to us in order that we should want to return, if we were ever to escape. How does one combat such a deeply-embedded thought? The mother suggested that the light and love of God may be able to replace this need that haunts us; I wish it were so.
I hesitate to go into further detail, as it may invoke unnecessary thought processes.
We have ben attempting to analyze our fear of this time of year. We know it stems from ritual abuse, that much is certain. Our dreams are filled with visions of chalices, athames and candles.
(On a side note: a friend of ours is Wiccan and says athames are never used to harm. However, we knew them for sacrificial use, to draw blood, and to evenly cut narcotics. Does anyone know if our perpetrators used the "harmless" athame to inflict pain just to pervert the idea of it? Or do some Pagans use an athame for harmful reasons, as well? [I suspect not, as the Witches' Rede forbids that type of thing, though I do not know if all Pagans subscribe to a similar rule.] Any light shed on this subject would be appreciated.)
Back to my original ideas:
Certain times of the year, such as the Lunar New Year, Christmas, Easter and the Solstices are very troubling for us. There is fear, dread, a general uneasiness. However, I also find that during these times, there is a desire we do not speak of. Somehow, the rituals, the functionality is comforting. Or so it would seem.
Although we are likely to tremble at the sight of a fully-stocked alter, or become afraid at the sound of monotonous chanting, some Inside cannot help the pull we feel. Why is it that this, which has caused us such harm, can still seem somewhat inviting? Were the mindgames that elaborate? A pastor suggested that the "brainwashing" (I despise that term) may have included a subliminal message to us in order that we should want to return, if we were ever to escape. How does one combat such a deeply-embedded thought? The mother suggested that the light and love of God may be able to replace this need that haunts us; I wish it were so.
I hesitate to go into further detail, as it may invoke unnecessary thought processes.
posted by Logan Nambiet at
5:44 PM
1 Comments:
Hi,
Just to say - The Wiccan stuff with knives and cups is an imitation of the older stuff, the ritual abuse stuff. I know that will infuriate every Wiccan on the planet, but the relationship between Garnder and Crowley is too close.
I'm not saying this because I don't like Wiccans or whatever. It's just that groups that practice black magic and ritual abuse have been around a lot longer and their use of 'sacrificial' knives, cups, etc, predates Wicca. Crowley was in to all this stuff - he wasn't vanilla by any stretch of the imagination - and Gardner based his rituals on Crowley's work.
See what I mean? I'm sure your Wiccan friend means well, but Wiccans generally think they know a lot more then they actually do.
A friend
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Anonymous, at 6:21 PM
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