Opposing views.

I spoke with Siroun regarding her ordeal. She admitted she did ask Niven for a peek into his nature. Although that brings me a sick type of relief, I told them both that it could no longer be tolerated. Siroun assured me it would not; she did not particularly enjoy the experience.

I know I should forgive Niven. At the same time, he defied me. His response to that is "You aren’t my keeper." True, that. However, I am Guardian Protector, and the small ones are mine, and mine alone.

He tells me that I need to relax, and be "real". That if I "kick back and down a beer", I will not have so much rage and angst building inside me all the time. Perhaps there is a truth in that. However, we all know that if I let myself go, I am not in charge. If I am not in charge, it opens the door to the Shadows. Some say that this line of thought is superstitious, but I will take no chances. Becoming inebriated in order to escape is foolish. Do I still partake in that from time to time? Of course, and I am ashamed of it. But I do not want it to become a habit, either.