A possibility in new leadership.
Firstly, we still have the influenza. Horrid illness, really. We were sent home from both work and school. And furthermore, the body is not reacting well to having ingested nothing but fruit juice and Nyquil for a week. I am hoping to catch up on things soon.
None of us like to venture Outside while the body is taken ill; perhaps it is selfish, but if I have a choice in not experiencing such things, then I will make good on that choice. Being Inside, much has happened, and these changes have brought on deep thoughts.
I pondered stepping down as a fronter, as so many had before me: Piers, Gabriel, Sulekhi. I felt it was my time. However, the only obvious choice would be Niven, and there are a few issues we disagree upon, which would make me apprehensive in his leadership. I spoke to Niven about these issues, and he saw my point, at least. We decided on a compromise, therefore, and I think it would benefit the both of us, as well as our Collective. We are to divide duties, which will relieve some pressure from me, and give him are larger role in decision-making. As it stands, we are both happy with the results.
What this means for me is this: I will be limiting myself moreso toward the duties associated with the small ones, as that was my duty originally. However, Niven and I will confer often, and work tandem with one another as well. I feel almost sad in casting off the title "Guardian Protector", as it has been mine for so very long. Perhaps that can wait.
I also decided something meaningful for myself. So often I am tied down with the past, and I grow weary of that. I believe sometimes I am unsure of how to deal with safety and happiness I find at times that I cause a crisis, just to feel in my element again. That is wrong of me. I am going to try to accept myself as I was, and as I am now. For better or for worse, all I have done and experienced has created what I am now, and really, what I am now is not so bad. I think I can live with that.
None of us like to venture Outside while the body is taken ill; perhaps it is selfish, but if I have a choice in not experiencing such things, then I will make good on that choice. Being Inside, much has happened, and these changes have brought on deep thoughts.
I pondered stepping down as a fronter, as so many had before me: Piers, Gabriel, Sulekhi. I felt it was my time. However, the only obvious choice would be Niven, and there are a few issues we disagree upon, which would make me apprehensive in his leadership. I spoke to Niven about these issues, and he saw my point, at least. We decided on a compromise, therefore, and I think it would benefit the both of us, as well as our Collective. We are to divide duties, which will relieve some pressure from me, and give him are larger role in decision-making. As it stands, we are both happy with the results.
What this means for me is this: I will be limiting myself moreso toward the duties associated with the small ones, as that was my duty originally. However, Niven and I will confer often, and work tandem with one another as well. I feel almost sad in casting off the title "Guardian Protector", as it has been mine for so very long. Perhaps that can wait.
I also decided something meaningful for myself. So often I am tied down with the past, and I grow weary of that. I believe sometimes I am unsure of how to deal with safety and happiness I find at times that I cause a crisis, just to feel in my element again. That is wrong of me. I am going to try to accept myself as I was, and as I am now. For better or for worse, all I have done and experienced has created what I am now, and really, what I am now is not so bad. I think I can live with that.
posted by Logan Nambiet at
11:09 PM
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