First gifts.
As we have now passed into the second trimester and the chance of miscarriage is nearly nonexistent, we became comfortable enough to buy the first gifts for the child
Fisrtly, a plush heilan coo, named Rowan. (An apt name.) This has some symbolism behind it: while in Edinburgh, Bruyère and her betrothed saw an infants' clothing section at a small boutique, featuring crude hand drawings, as if by a child. The one that Bruyère most liked featured this animal, a very woolly and unique creature that quite resembles a buffalo, and is native and so far as I know, indigienous to Scottish Highlands. Her thought, I recall, was that if they were to have a child, she would want the child to have such adorable clothing. As now she is unable to find that style again, the plush will do nicely.
The other gifts were practical in nature. We purchased two toddler-appropriate books regarding unwanted touches and the like, as well as a book specifically written for children aged four until eight years, regarding questions on a parent's multiplicity. The books regarding molestation were difficult to agree upon; there are so many different views, but we picked one that dealt with telling a trusted adult and anotehr that dealt with the right a child has to saying no to any type of touching, by anyone. We did not purchase anything that tried to differentiate between "good" touches and "bad" touches, as that can be confusing to a child. We also did not purchase anything that depicted perpetrators as singularly male, or strangers, or with any stereotype. We want the child to know that a perpetrator can be anyone, as difficult as that is to admit. No one would want to unnecessarily frighten the child, but it is an important fact often overlooked by caregivers in any capacity. One book, in particular, even expressed that a hug by a family member, even if accepted once before, can be refused at another time, if the child so chooses. I especially like that point.
The book on multiplicity is somethign that no one is discussing yet. Coming out, as it were, to the child may mean coming out to the rest of the family, which I believe is a poor idea. However, we ahve learned with the youngest sister that small children can understand and grasp things that adults overlook...multiplicity being one such subject. On this we must tread carefully, and make certain all are in agreement.
Fisrtly, a plush heilan coo, named Rowan. (An apt name.) This has some symbolism behind it: while in Edinburgh, Bruyère and her betrothed saw an infants' clothing section at a small boutique, featuring crude hand drawings, as if by a child. The one that Bruyère most liked featured this animal, a very woolly and unique creature that quite resembles a buffalo, and is native and so far as I know, indigienous to Scottish Highlands. Her thought, I recall, was that if they were to have a child, she would want the child to have such adorable clothing. As now she is unable to find that style again, the plush will do nicely.
The other gifts were practical in nature. We purchased two toddler-appropriate books regarding unwanted touches and the like, as well as a book specifically written for children aged four until eight years, regarding questions on a parent's multiplicity. The books regarding molestation were difficult to agree upon; there are so many different views, but we picked one that dealt with telling a trusted adult and anotehr that dealt with the right a child has to saying no to any type of touching, by anyone. We did not purchase anything that tried to differentiate between "good" touches and "bad" touches, as that can be confusing to a child. We also did not purchase anything that depicted perpetrators as singularly male, or strangers, or with any stereotype. We want the child to know that a perpetrator can be anyone, as difficult as that is to admit. No one would want to unnecessarily frighten the child, but it is an important fact often overlooked by caregivers in any capacity. One book, in particular, even expressed that a hug by a family member, even if accepted once before, can be refused at another time, if the child so chooses. I especially like that point.
The book on multiplicity is somethign that no one is discussing yet. Coming out, as it were, to the child may mean coming out to the rest of the family, which I believe is a poor idea. However, we ahve learned with the youngest sister that small children can understand and grasp things that adults overlook...multiplicity being one such subject. On this we must tread carefully, and make certain all are in agreement.
posted by Logan Nambiet at
8:05 PM
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