Differences in being.

One thing that has always fascinated me is the extreme diffferences in facets of life between singletons and those who are Many. I have spoken in great length with several friends in trying to gain further understanding, however the core of that eludes me. I am able only to imagine.

The idea of a singleton's life is something I find quite odd. I was asked once if I am afraid of singletons, and it is not so much terrifying but unnerving, that one can be left to his own ideas and plans, without any group decision. Inside, every decision I make comes with it a consequence, and I am responsible to those who are affected even in the smallest way. We share a body and cannot use it selfishly. I am made quite aware of what such use could create. I do make my own decisions, as it pertains to my own actions, and yet it is different, to make those same decisions for the body. Sometimes I envision myself as a single One, and the thought is rather desolate. That is as close as I am able to truly understand, and the fact of being One strikes me only as painfully lonely, at all times.

I do crave time to myself, of course, and I do have such moments to enjoy, but that is a different type. I cannot imagine what a singleton might do if alone in a room for extended periods of time. Nor can I imagine such mundane things as grocery shopping. I understand we are all given will-power but some seem to lack any trace of it. How is that controlled?

I am told that there is no way to fully understand without having experienced it, in a similar sense to how singletons may not understand teh full scope of multiplicity. I find that simple to explain and to understand but I am still asked questions on the fundamentals. I do not mind answering, of course, but it has always surprised me to realize, again and again, that the nature of my existance is so vastly misunderstood.