A good evening to all.
Firstly, happy Christmas to all. We were very blessed this day, and I am most grateful. Nothing stands out immediately, but perhaps I shall write more on it later. Instead, I have something slightly off-topic:
In discussing things with the father today during Christmastime celebrations, I stumbled upon something odd and just a trifle unnerving.
Apparently, the Host and some of the Collective have differing views on certain "facts". None of these facts are, by any means, so vastly important that it needs to be resolved immediately, however I do not like the idea that some of us recall some things that others do not, and that truth to one is a lie to another.
For instance, Molly considers one of our friends a cousin. Of course, by birth this is not accurate, but Molly feels that her relationship with this person is such that she would "qualify" as a cousin. Being that Inside, we do not really use or fully understand familial ties, I do not see that as a problem. Furthermore, there are some who are family by birth, and we do not acknowledge them as such.
I see these examples as such non-issues that it perplexed me when the Host spoke with me, high-strung and worrisome. Why does it matter if we consider some family who are not, and vice versa? Her reasoning is this: She will sound like either a liar or an idiot if her stories change between when we speak and she speaks. Granted, i can understand that. So the obvious solution is to come to an agreement, and decide collectively who shall be considered as what. The Host does not like that idea.
Other "issues" she had were:
01. Some have different recollections of where we grew up in childhood; specifically the name of the town and type of lifestyle;
02. Some have different recollections of the name the Host was called as a child, prior to adoption;
03. Some have different recollections of the manner in which we were adopted, specifically.
These issues are very important to her, and to us we see them as rather trivial. However, I do not want to change my views and memories in favor of hers, simply because hers are often incorrect. However, this is beginning to become a burden, because she insists we must agree on what occurred--or did not occur--in our past, no matter how insignificant it may seem to us. Personally, it aggravates me, but what am I to do? It seems that no one, Inside or Outside, seems to have a viable answer or simple version to the story in which we can compare our distinct memories. I stop short of telling her that she is not the only damn person who has to live in her rather selective reality. We both feel as if we will be forced to live a lie if we concede to one another; I see no avenue for compromise.
In discussing things with the father today during Christmastime celebrations, I stumbled upon something odd and just a trifle unnerving.
Apparently, the Host and some of the Collective have differing views on certain "facts". None of these facts are, by any means, so vastly important that it needs to be resolved immediately, however I do not like the idea that some of us recall some things that others do not, and that truth to one is a lie to another.
For instance, Molly considers one of our friends a cousin. Of course, by birth this is not accurate, but Molly feels that her relationship with this person is such that she would "qualify" as a cousin. Being that Inside, we do not really use or fully understand familial ties, I do not see that as a problem. Furthermore, there are some who are family by birth, and we do not acknowledge them as such.
I see these examples as such non-issues that it perplexed me when the Host spoke with me, high-strung and worrisome. Why does it matter if we consider some family who are not, and vice versa? Her reasoning is this: She will sound like either a liar or an idiot if her stories change between when we speak and she speaks. Granted, i can understand that. So the obvious solution is to come to an agreement, and decide collectively who shall be considered as what. The Host does not like that idea.
Other "issues" she had were:
01. Some have different recollections of where we grew up in childhood; specifically the name of the town and type of lifestyle;
02. Some have different recollections of the name the Host was called as a child, prior to adoption;
03. Some have different recollections of the manner in which we were adopted, specifically.
These issues are very important to her, and to us we see them as rather trivial. However, I do not want to change my views and memories in favor of hers, simply because hers are often incorrect. However, this is beginning to become a burden, because she insists we must agree on what occurred--or did not occur--in our past, no matter how insignificant it may seem to us. Personally, it aggravates me, but what am I to do? It seems that no one, Inside or Outside, seems to have a viable answer or simple version to the story in which we can compare our distinct memories. I stop short of telling her that she is not the only damn person who has to live in her rather selective reality. We both feel as if we will be forced to live a lie if we concede to one another; I see no avenue for compromise.
posted by Logan Nambiet at
11:54 PM
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