Crushed.

After a series of broken promises and lack of explanation, I have literally stood Idle and have watched a cherished friendship slowly fall apart. I want desperately to fix this but I am unstable, unreliable. I know this, as I have been told this is a major reason for others having ceased contact. It has not quite deteriorated to that level, but I fear that in my repeated attempts to keep her safe from my secrets I have given her reason not to trust me. I certainly understand I do not deserve her trust, but I was hoping this would be different.

The only way to save this is to be open. Being open involves speaking the truth, and there are quite a few aspects of truth that I would rather not admit to myself, let alone to another. But to be silent is to withhold, and to withold makes me a liar by omission. And yet, I feel quite strongly that to be open so is the quickest way to destroy a relationship. If ever I needed advice, this would be it.