A surprising discovery.
This one caught me off-guard, to say the least.
For months I have toyed with the idea of finding a "multiples" mailing list. I receive plenty of support on the BUS forum, of course, but I suppose I am looking for something where the rest may post, and where some differences or questions can be resolved. I have yet to find such a place, for a few reasons. Some of the lists I have come upon are inundated with messages from small ones, and it is not as if I do not like to see small ones post, as I believe that can be very beneficial. However, it does little to help me when no one can answer my queries in the manner that I desire. Also, some lists are so tightly knit into their cliques that no one desires to answer anything I have posted. Truly, I have not found anything quite so open and amenable as the afore-mentioned forum.
I digress.
I was directed to a site called Howling Thunder by a friend, and although it does not support a message board or mailing list itself, it does offer links to a few, and a vast amount of information: essays, interviews, guides for those who are One. One guide was for terminology, and I read it in curiosity.
It was odd, because apparently many of the terms I use are considered derogatory "to the multiple community". The one in specific is "Host". I never saw anything wrong with that term, and I use it to describe the one whose name appears on the birth certificate. I never think of her as the "owner" of the body, because I believe that assessment is incorrect. And, according to many multiples, calling someone the Host implies that one is the owner of the body, and has final say, and is therefore allowing the rest to stay by grace. It apparently also implies that those Inside are merely parasites.
Personally, I never once agreed with that. For years our Host (for want of a better word, now) begged me to leave, she despised me. She has no say over whether I stay or go; she does not have the power. She never has. I bend for her at times to keep the peace and in the name of compromise, but she does the same for me. If we did not, there would be only anarchy and chaos...we do not wish to live in that manner.
I suppose that, again, I digress.
I do not particularly yearn to be a part of the "multiple community". I have done much research, and like any group of people in similar situations, some can be cruel or even hate those who are One. I disagree with that vehemently. I also somewhat disagree with the level of political-correctness needed to correspond with many of them. I understand not being rude, or vicious. That is obvious. But to receive a lecture because I choose to use the wrong term, or because I choose to associate with those who are One is ridiculous. (By the way, that term is "incorrect", as well...I am supposed to use the term "singlet" or "singleton".)
Must I conform, must I change my way of thinking and manner of speech just to consider myself an equal? Does being a part of a Collective not constitute enough in their eyes? It boggles the mind.
There was an essay on the site called "Multiple Police", in which it muses over the single-mindedness of some multiples who will read all the latest literature on the subject and then claim "It is impossible that you have others who...", and one can fill in the rest as one likes. These books, written by self-proclaimed professionals, mandate that no system can have ones that speak other languages, or ones that are not human, or ones that number more that a hundred or so. Any number of things so that we must fit the mold, or be outcasts. It is like saying one cannot be diagnosed with cancer unless there is a visible tumor involved...many cancer patients will laugh at that.
Am I incorrect in thinking these things? Is it necessary that I conform somewhat? These are not rhetorical questions. We have gone so long tending to our own and ignoring everything else that at times I am certain our isolationism has caused us to have a falling-out with the world at large. If it would behoove me to change my terminology, then I shall. Though, I insist I be given a better reason than, "Everyone else does it that way."
For months I have toyed with the idea of finding a "multiples" mailing list. I receive plenty of support on the BUS forum, of course, but I suppose I am looking for something where the rest may post, and where some differences or questions can be resolved. I have yet to find such a place, for a few reasons. Some of the lists I have come upon are inundated with messages from small ones, and it is not as if I do not like to see small ones post, as I believe that can be very beneficial. However, it does little to help me when no one can answer my queries in the manner that I desire. Also, some lists are so tightly knit into their cliques that no one desires to answer anything I have posted. Truly, I have not found anything quite so open and amenable as the afore-mentioned forum.
I digress.
I was directed to a site called Howling Thunder by a friend, and although it does not support a message board or mailing list itself, it does offer links to a few, and a vast amount of information: essays, interviews, guides for those who are One. One guide was for terminology, and I read it in curiosity.
It was odd, because apparently many of the terms I use are considered derogatory "to the multiple community". The one in specific is "Host". I never saw anything wrong with that term, and I use it to describe the one whose name appears on the birth certificate. I never think of her as the "owner" of the body, because I believe that assessment is incorrect. And, according to many multiples, calling someone the Host implies that one is the owner of the body, and has final say, and is therefore allowing the rest to stay by grace. It apparently also implies that those Inside are merely parasites.
Personally, I never once agreed with that. For years our Host (for want of a better word, now) begged me to leave, she despised me. She has no say over whether I stay or go; she does not have the power. She never has. I bend for her at times to keep the peace and in the name of compromise, but she does the same for me. If we did not, there would be only anarchy and chaos...we do not wish to live in that manner.
I suppose that, again, I digress.
I do not particularly yearn to be a part of the "multiple community". I have done much research, and like any group of people in similar situations, some can be cruel or even hate those who are One. I disagree with that vehemently. I also somewhat disagree with the level of political-correctness needed to correspond with many of them. I understand not being rude, or vicious. That is obvious. But to receive a lecture because I choose to use the wrong term, or because I choose to associate with those who are One is ridiculous. (By the way, that term is "incorrect", as well...I am supposed to use the term "singlet" or "singleton".)
Must I conform, must I change my way of thinking and manner of speech just to consider myself an equal? Does being a part of a Collective not constitute enough in their eyes? It boggles the mind.
There was an essay on the site called "Multiple Police", in which it muses over the single-mindedness of some multiples who will read all the latest literature on the subject and then claim "It is impossible that you have others who...", and one can fill in the rest as one likes. These books, written by self-proclaimed professionals, mandate that no system can have ones that speak other languages, or ones that are not human, or ones that number more that a hundred or so. Any number of things so that we must fit the mold, or be outcasts. It is like saying one cannot be diagnosed with cancer unless there is a visible tumor involved...many cancer patients will laugh at that.
Am I incorrect in thinking these things? Is it necessary that I conform somewhat? These are not rhetorical questions. We have gone so long tending to our own and ignoring everything else that at times I am certain our isolationism has caused us to have a falling-out with the world at large. If it would behoove me to change my terminology, then I shall. Though, I insist I be given a better reason than, "Everyone else does it that way."
posted by Logan Nambiet at
12:31 PM
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